


Potential

by flaming_muse



Category: Glee
Genre: Episode Related, M/M, Skype
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-19
Updated: 2013-11-19
Packaged: 2018-01-02 00:50:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1050555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flaming_muse/pseuds/flaming_muse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt and Blaine Skype near the end of 5x05.</p>
<p>set after Kurt’s final scene in 5x05 (“The End of Twerk”), with no spoilers beyond</p>
<p>mentions of past canonical character death</p>
            </blockquote>





	Potential

“ - and then when it’s fully healed they said I can learn how to switch out the stud if I want to,” Kurt says in his adorable new, supposedly temporary lisp, his hands fluttering in the air the way they do when he’s really excited.

“Uh huh,” Blaine replies. He’s trying to pay attention to his fiancé on his computer screen where it’s sitting on the bed in front of him, he really is, only he keeps catching a glimpse of shiny metal in Kurt’s mouth when he speaks. It’s strange and a little unsettling to him - an echo of the way he’d felt in the fall, when Kurt seemed to be moving faster and faster ahead of him in New York while Blaine was left behind standing still in Ohio, even though he knows now that’s not what’s happening - but also enthralling and unquestionably hot. He wishes he were there to see it in person, to _kiss_ him and learn the new shape of his mouth, to feel that smooth knot of metal traveling across his skin along with the slippery warmth of Kurt’s tongue -

“I was thinking of getting a dozen so I can coordinate them with my outfits when I want to.” Kurt inches in closer to the computer; he’s lying on his stomach, and his face is large and animated right in the middle of Blaine’s screen. “They come in hundreds of different colors, shapes, and textures. I don’t need _that_ many, obviously, but I don’t want to be stuck with only one option. You should never overlook an opportunity to accessorize.”

Kurt’s eyes are completely lit up with the idea, and he looks so pleased and sure of himself that Blaine’s heart does a funny tilt-thump in his chest. He hasn’t gotten to see this Kurt enough recently; between their break-up and then Finn’s death, not to mention his struggles to get into NYADA, this past year Kurt’s been more of a pale ghost holding himself together than the vibrant person grabbing the world he’s meant to be. There have been pockets of brightness, but not enough of them, at least not when Blaine was there to see him.

It’s amazing to see him so confident and happy now. If he can’t be there in person to enjoy it, Blaine is more than content to sit here and drink him in from afar.

“I’ll need a few simple options for everyday,” Kurt continues. He props his chin up on one hand and continues to gesture with the other, his engagement ring flashing with the motion. “Plus some more interesting designs. Maybe one that sparkles for formal events.”

Blaine grins at the idea as his heart twists and thumps again. Of course Kurt would want a formal tongue stud, he thinks with almost overwhelming fondness. He understands why Kurt’s been feeling weighed down after Finn’s death - it’s been hard enough on Blaine to lose Finn, and he doesn’t even want to think about what it would feel like if it had been Cooper - but it’s wonderful to see him rising out of the ashes of that loss, if not quite the same then at least still whole and bright. Kurt’s amazing. _He_ sparkles.

It’s so incredible to see it.

With this effervescent Kurt in front of him again, Blaine is reminded of the way Kurt filled back in with color over the months after he first met him, from the shadow bullied out of McKinley in despair to the young man assured enough to return with his head held high as soon as he was safely able. Back then, Kurt had gotten up on stage and sung Lady Gaga to announce his return; now, Kurt has somehow gotten a tattoo and a tongue piercing.

But that’s just Kurt, always zigging instead of zagging.

Always standing up when life knocks him down, and not just getting back onto his feet but striking an even better pose when he does.

With Kurt, Blaine know his life is never, ever going to be dull. It makes his pulse race a little more. Their life is going to be _incredible_. He’s the luckiest guy in the world to get to spend every day with Kurt, or at least he’ll get to do that in the future when they aren’t stuck so many miles apart.

And god, he gets to spend his future with Kurt with a _tongue piercing_. An unexpected and surprisingly sexy -

“Blaine?” Kurt interrupts, frowning at the screen, unaware of Blaine’s blood rushing south and making his jeans uncomfortably tight.

“Sorry,” Blaine says and tries to shake himself out of it. _Tongue piercing_. No, he has to focus. He takes a deep breath. “You were saying you want to coordinate your tongue stud with your outfits?” He’s proud that his voice only squeaks a little over ‘tongue stud, though he has to keep the rest of his sentence flat and polite to do it.

Kurt deflates a little at his tone, his shoulders dropping, some of the energy draining out of his expression. “Yeah, you’re right. Maybe that’s too much,” he says and shrugs. He drags an idle fingertip over his trackpad. “I mean, who’s to say what’s black tie-appropriate tongue jewelry, anyway? There are no fashion rules for it. It’s not like they’re cufflinks.”

“No,” Blaine tells him, leaning forward over his crossed legs toward his computer. “No, you should. It sounds amazing.”

“Really?” Kurt asks him, looking a little worried. He glances off to the side, to where Blaine knows his rack of hanging clothes stands. “I’m going to have to work to make it go with anything I own from Tom Ford or Vivienne Westwood. You don’t exactly see a lot of piercings in their look books.”

“Kurt, since when have you cared about what anybody but you likes when it comes to clothing? Or anything?”

Kurt looks down at his keyboard for a moment, and when he raises his eyes they’re lit up once more. “That is _exactly_ what I’m trying to remind myself,” he says. “That’s why I did it.”

Blaine leans his elbows on his legs and smiles at him. Kurt smiles back and does this odd, new curling thing with his tongue in his mouth; he doesn’t seem to be realizing he’s doing it, but he’s clearly playing with the stud or at least rubbing at it a little to get used to it or ease some of his tongue’s soreness, and Blaine realizes he’s seeing a new trait for Kurt developing right before his eyes. It’s something new for him to know about Kurt.

He wishes he could reach out, and not just because he wants to explore that piercing, too, and all it can do... or will be able to, once it heals. He also wishes he could reach out and be _there_ with him, see him up close as he’s spreading his wings.

If he’s honest, Blaine’s a little jealous that Kurt’s getting to make those leaps when he wants to. There’s no bitterness in it; he just finds himself wishing he could have that same freedom for himself, too, without the demands of capricious parents, teachers, principals, and football players, all of whom decide on an hourly basis just how much personal expression is acceptable and what the line is between quirky or cute and threatening or not allowed.

It’s easier than it used to be for Blaine. He can walk down the hallways in his bright colors and bow ties and not be slammed into a locker. He’s respected. He’s popular, even, popular enough to be elected to student government and prom court.

It has - as Kurt’s tattoo almost said, as the joy in Kurt’s face reflects right back at him through the computer’s screen - gotten better.

But sitting cross-legged on his bed in Ohio, his parents downstairs and his classmates and teachers in the houses nearby, all of them ready to judge, Blaine knows all too well how fragile that peace is. He sees it every day right now with Unique, and he remembers everything Kurt went through at McKinley, too.

It makes Blaine angry, but if he’s honest it also makes him want to try harder to put his best foot forward so he isn’t focused on for being different like Kurt and Unique are, like he was before Dalton. He ran for class president this year to change the system and make it safe for everyone to be gay or use hair gel, to express themselves openly, but as much as he’s supporting the administration making changes for the better and is doing his part in glee club to fight injustice, he isn’t Kurt. He’s out and proud, he knows what he stands for and who he wants to be, but he just isn’t Kurt.

Kurt is _amazing_. He’s strong. He’s hit with painful tragedies gets up again and again. He stands up and stands out. He doesn’t stay quiet. He takes risks. He refuses to accept closed doors. He pushes for what he wants, even when no one around him seems to understand it.

And that’s not Blaine.

He wonders with a sinking feeling in his stomach, another echo of last fall, if he should be trying harder to measure up to his fiancé.

“Do you think I should pierce my tongue?” he blurts out before he even thinks about it. He just thinks he should do _something_.

Kurt’s eyebrows rise high in surprise. “Do you _want_ to pierce your tongue?” he asks in reply, like he can’t imagine the answer is yes but will be fine with it if it is.

Blaine considers the idea of it. He thinks about the pain of weeks and weeks of healing and being stuck with a lisp like Kurt’s; he knows his would be far less cute. He thinks of being singled out for it in school and at home. He thinks about the sensation of a metal bar through his tongue, a ball resting against it, something always in his mouth. He thinks about eating around it, singing around it, kissing around it. What feels exotic in Kurt’s mouth just feels like an odd intrusion at best in his own.

“No,” he admits in a sigh. “No, it isn’t really me.”

“Then you shouldn’t,” Kurt says simply. There’s no judgment at all in the phrase.

Nodding, Blaine still feels bad about it. He _wants_ to be that brave and bold, but if Kurt’s out there being himself, if Unique’s out there being herself, then Blaine needs to be himself, too. And he’s the guy who likes to be in the middle of a group of friends, not the guy out front, not when out front doesn’t include singing or come with a title like prom king or the New Rachel. He’s not the one wearing a weird costume, not unless a whole bunch of other people are, too. That’s just not who he is.

He’ll never be Kurt. All he’ll ever get to do is be near him and get to watch him being himself... which is pretty good, too, really. Maybe even better.

“How does it feel?” Blaine finds himself asking. He means the tongue stud, but he also means in a way how it feels to be _him_.

“It hurts,” Kurt admits. He makes a face and toys with the piercing again. “It’s not bad, but my tongue feels weird. They said the swelling will go down soon. I hope so. It feels like I’m spitting everywhere when I talk.”

“Ugh.”

“Yeah. I didn’t really think about this part, honestly.” Kurt laughs, like he’s surprised but delighted. “It seemed like a way to shock my system, so I just kind of... did it.”

Blaine smiles at him a little tightly. Kurt just leapt. He just threw off his sadness and leapt, the way he always does, because he’s incredible.

Blaine tries to feel okay with the fact that Kurt’s the one who pushes these boundaries... and Blaine doesn’t. (Or not often. Not and have it go well.)

Maybe it’s all right. He needs to own himself, too. He cares about what other people think of him in a way that Kurt has learned not to. Blaine wants people to like him and is happy when they usually do. It’s who he is.

But when he looks at Kurt growing and changing before his eyes, Blaine can’t wait to find out who he is when he _doesn’t_ have to worry about all of the structures and restrictions of high school anymore. He might not ever be as daring as Kurt, but he looks forward to seeing what might happen when the only expectations he has to meet are his own (and Kurt’s, if he’s honest).

They still probably won’t include jamming a big spike of metal through his tongue. He shudders at the thought; he can’t imagine ever trying to explain that one to his parents. Possibly a tattoo, though, a permanent mark of something close to _his_ heart...

Blaine’s heart starts to race again.

Kurt’s name would look incredible on his skin, or maybe a blackbird, or a line of musical notes from a song they both love, and depending on where he put it he wouldn’t have to show it to anyone but Kurt... Maybe _Kurt_ should pick the place, somewhere _he’d_ like to see it, touch it, trace it with his -

“Blaine?” Kurt asks again, watching him with his head tipped to the side.

“I’m here,” Blaine says, blinking the computer screen back into focus. “Sorry.”

“Are you okay? You keep going somewhere in your head.”

“I’m sorry. I’m fine.” Blaine tries to look attentive and at ease, and he sits up a bit and folds his hands neatly in his lap. “I’m listening.”

Kurt’s beautiful eyes don’t lose their sharpness on him through the screen. “Do you need to go to bed? I don’t want to make you stay up talking to me if you’re too tired to have a conversation.”

“No. I - “ Blaine takes a deep breath and stops trying to hold back how he’s feeling. He doesn’t want to, anyway. He loves how Kurt makes him feel. “I just really love you,” he admits with a sheepish smile. He loves Kurt so fiercely. He admires him so much. He can never be him, but he _loves_ him, is so amazed by him, is so proud of him, is so proud that Kurt has chosen him in return. “Sometimes it makes it hard to focus.”

“Because of this?” Kurt asks, grinning as he opens his mouth to show off that tantalizing ball of metal resting inside.

Blaine’s body reacts to the sight, he can’t help but tighten up in _want_ , but he smiles some more and says with utter conviction he feels all the way down to his toes, “Because of _everything_ , Kurt.”

Kurt’s smile starts at surprised before it flows into charmed and delighted. “I love you, too.” He beams at the screen for a long moment before his shoulders twist in a flirty wiggle. “Everything _including_ the tongue stud?”

“Oh, yes,” Blaine assures him wholeheartedly, without reservation, and Kurt’s smile turns up even more.

Kurt bites his lip, his eyes going mischievous. “Good. I hoped you'd like it.” He pushes up to sitting, his fingers rising to the buttons of his shirt. “Did you want to see the tattoo again to be sure you like that, too?” he asks, somehow coy and knowing at the same time.

Leaning helplessly forward toward the screen, Blaine makes a strangled noise he knows isn’t a word, but Kurt laughs and seems to understand that it means yes - yes to skin and Kurt and the tattoo and absolutely everything about who he is and who he will become, who they both will, together.

**Author's Note:**

> Reminder: I am spoiler-free! Please don't mention anything to me about what's coming ahead!


End file.
